The Amazement of Dancing (2)

原文：The lives in dancing, however, are full of exhausting. When I was in junior, I have less time in studying, sometimes I even have to go contesting during final exams. The process is so hard that I had a idea of giving up. At about 14, I ever told my family that maybe I won’t be a dancer in the future. I realized myself may can be a scientist or whatever I want. They at first were sad, but finally be happy for me.

討論：首先是時態不一致，When I was in junior, I have... I have to go, the process is so hard, 這一大段，除了第一句是評論，可用現在式，其餘全是回憶作者在初中時的情形，所以需從頭到尾過去式。在字彙方面，the lives in dancing, 沒有道理用複數，full of exhausting, 不懂其意，也許是指充滿挫折感, full of frustrations. junior，如指初中，就要說清楚junior high。另外，下面這句話因果關係不清楚，When I was in junior, I have less time in studying, sometimes I even have to go contesting during final exams. 在美國，期末考說final即可，不需加exams.

修改後：The life in dancing, however, is full of frustrations. when I was in junior high, I had to reduce my study time because sometimes, I had to go contest during finals. It was so hard that I thought of giving up. At about age 14, I told my family that I wouldn't be a dancer in the future. I realized then that science or any other profession was more likely for me. When they heard it for the first time, they were sad,but as time went by, they accepted it and were happy for me.