英文壞口音，一次剿滅(沙龍系列1) 12/10/2019 台北

Funny window display at Carmel by the Sea

#1 Let me know if my Biceps get in your way (男人炫耀強大的臂肌)
#2 You don't know how many friends you have until you have a beach house (當你擁有海邊別墅時，你的朋友全湧來了)

Toeic column 1 role playing

After a three month in-house training, it’s time to put the books aside and actually start performing – role playing exercises. The new recruits will play the role of salespersons, and our instructors will play the role of customers. Our challenge is to develop proposals and sell them.

I am very nervous about it. I’ve never done role-playing before, and I’ve never sold anything. My role is to convince a prospective customer’s secretary that my proposal is so important that I deserve a chance to speak to her boss.

What am I going to sell? What would be my sales pitch? Should I sound proud or modest? Should I boast or be very honest?

I thought about all this and I couldn’t sleep.

在三個月的內部訓練後，我們終於要放下書本，實際演練了 — 角色扮演練習。新進人員演銷售員，指導老師演顧客。我們的挑戰是寫企劃案，並把企劃案賣出去。

我很緊張，我從沒做過角色扮演，我也沒賣過東西。我的角色是要說服一位未來客戶的秘書，我的企劃案非常重要，我應該得到和她老板一談的機會。

我要賣什麼？我的賣點是什麼？我應該用自得或謙卑的口氣？我應該吹吹牛還是非常誠實？

我想著這些，難以入眠。

Key words:

In-house training: 公司內部訓練

Role playing: 角色扮演

 Exercises: 練習

New recruits: 新進人員。

Salespersons: 泛指男女銷售員，當然如果性別非常明顯，還是可以這樣說: My father is a salesman. My mother is a saleswoman. 

Instructor: 指導老師

Challenge: 挑戰，不學這個字，不接受這個字，人生不進反退。

Develop: 發展, 塑造，你可以develop a proposal, develop a product, 也可以develop a story, develop a character.

Proposal: 提議、報告。凡事都要先見於字面，能寫得精、寫得順，才有成功希望。

Convince: 說服。

Prospective: 潛在的。因為這個人或這群人還沒有成為你的客戶，所以只能說「潛在的客戶」，以對應於真實的顧客，這種區別在英文中還蠻重要的。

Customer: 顧客，客戶。

Secretary: 秘書。秘書可大可小，美國國務卿稱為Secretary of State，聯合國秘書長稱為Secretary – General of the United Nations.

Deserve: 應該得到

Allow: 允許。

Sales pitch: 賣點，行銷時不能泛泛而談，一定要有亮點，一下子講到顧客心坎裡。

Scene 2

I didn't fall asleep until dawn. I had a dream.

In the dream, I ride on a white horse, with black armors all over like a medieval knight. I pranced forward with my lance, and on the tip of my lance is my proposal. I cry as I gallop to the king, "I saw, I came, I conquered."

"What have you conquered, my knight?"

"I've conquered your land with long-term care insurance."

I woke up, and I had an idea for my proposal.

This is what happened to my first role-playing exercise.

“I am going to sell a long-term care insurance to your boss,” I said to the instructor, who performed as the secretary. “As people live longer, and the national healthcare system is not as reliable as it should be, everyone should plan ahead. The long-term care insurance policy can help the insured cover the cost of living in a nursing home, which can be very expensive.”

The instructor shook her head. “I’m sorry to let you down. You didn’t convince me.”

I asked her why.

“As far as my boss is concerned, your product is irrelevant.  He is only thirty years old.”

This experience taught me one thing, knowing your client is very important. Just like Sun Tzu said in his famous The Art of War, “To know one's own strength and the enemy's is the sure way to victory.”

這是我第一次角色扮演的過程.

「我要把一套長期療養保險賣給你老板，」我對指導老師說，此時她正扮演秘書的角色。「人們壽命越來越長，全國健保也不如預期那般可靠，每個人都要未雨綢繆。長期療養保險可協助受保人負擔住在養老院的高額費用。」

我的指導老師搖頭。「對不起讓你失望，你沒有說服我。」

我問她為什麼。

「對我老板而言，你的產品無關緊要，他才三十歲。」

這個經驗教了我一件事，了解客戶至端緊要。就如孫子在著名的「孫子兵法」中所說，「知此知彼，百戰百勝」。

Key words:

Insurance: 保險

Reliable: 可靠的

The insured: 受保人

Cover:  負擔

Nursing home:  養老院

Product: 產品

Irrelevant: 無關緊要，不相關的。

Experience: 經驗

Client: 客戶，和customer同義

2013年Hijewel寫作營開班了

指導老師：旅美作家鄧海珠

「十大要領戒除中式英文」作者

對象：高中、大學生，就業人士

時間：週日上午9:30-11:30，1/6, 1/13, 1/20, 1/27, 2/3, 共五梯次

地點：東榮里里民活動場所

台北市富錦街411號1樓

課程目標：如何糾正中式英文，如何達到正確簡潔的要求，寫得好才能說得好
課程內容：first hour- 老師授課，每週內容依序為：句子的完整概念，句連句，句中句，時態(1), 時態(2) / second hour- 學生練習，現場訂正，或討論學生已寫好的作品，或由老師指定題目

班級：小班制，10人開班，有充份溝通機會，請學員自備筆、紙及飲水

收費：NT 250 (10小時)，講義以工本費另計，恕不退費

報名方式：請利用E-MAIL載明學員姓名與英文名及擬參加的梯次

寄到kcsu01@gmail.com Alex Su收 聯絡電話0912-098-678



主辦單位：The Sprout English Club萌芽英語讀書會
贊助單位:東榮里辦公室

鄧老師簡介：台大外文系畢業，政大及美國奧勒岡大學新聞研究所，出書十餘本，寫作及教學經驗豐富，欲知更多，請google鄧海珠，或至facebook: hijewel's English 

12/20 民生社區活動中心演講

經由讀者蘇光志和張主任的大力幫助，12/20 下午2-4時舉辦在台北第二場演講，英文寫作及如何戒除中式英文，詳情http://www.tpml.edu.tw/ct.asp?xItem=40175986&ctNode=35275&mp=104021

十大要領戒除中式英文演講

兩小時的演講，將為您釐清重要的英文觀念，大家一起來修改中式英文，使您重新認識英文、愛上英文


12/2/2012   10時-12時，台北市立圖書館總圖10樓見

The Amazement of Dancing (final)

原文：Dancing not only strengthens my physically ability but also art sense. Dance is the combination of body, music, drama ,so whiling dancing, it actually enlightens so many abilities in our life. That’s why even I had ever not get the drawing class and writing class, I still can get readers touched. The sincere motion in dancers’ heart is truly exist.
I am so lucky that I have an art family, and experienced brilliant 18 years. The amazement of dancing is continuous discovered. I believe the four years in NTU, my characteristic will also make me happy and joyful.

討論：這段不太通順，應是對英文表達不熟所致，其中有些明顯的文法錯誤，名詞之前應是形容詞，故應說physical ability, 另外用複數abilities，就顯得作者更有能耐了。the sincere motion in dancers' heart is truly exist. 這句話意思不清，而且is, exist是兩個動詞，是很明顯的文法錯誤。

修改後：Dancing not only strengthens my physical abilities but also enhances my artistic sense. Dance, as an art form, is a combination of body movements, music, and drama. Dancing is enlightening, because it can bring out many capabilities that you don't even know you have. For example, I have never taken any drawing nor writing classes, but my drawing and writing are good and touching.

I am so lucky that I have an art family, and have lived to the fullest the past 18 years. I expect the future four years in NTU will be as happy and joyful as before, as I continue to discover the amazement of dancing.

The Amazement of Dancing (3)

原文：Therefore, it’s hard for me to overcome the frustration for I know I will not be a dancer. However, in the period of examing , I found I have more body strength than other classmates who seldom exercise. What’s more I paid much attention in class and behaved effective. I Attributed to the training on dancing.

討論：這一段用了四個連接詞，therefore,for, however, what's more,因用得不好，反而把意思搞亂了。連接詞看起來是個小字，若用錯，因果關係就搞不清楚。in the period of examing意思不清，需作者再釐清。I paid much attention in class and behaved effective這一句用過去式，表示現在已經不是如此了嗎？況且此段前兩句是用現在式，時態不一致，要擇一而用，我認為這段用現在式才合理，behaved effective不通，也許作者本意是「做事很有效率」。最後一句，I attribute to the training on dancing. attribute 後面少了一個受詞。為求簡潔，說dance training即可。

修改後：It's hard for me to overcome the frustrations, therefore, I know I can not be a dancer. However, I find that I am physically stronger than my classmates who seldom exercise, and I am able to focus better and work more effectively, which I attribute to my dance training.

The Amazement of Dancing (2)

原文：The lives in dancing, however, are full of exhausting. When I was in junior, I have less time in studying, sometimes I even have to go contesting during final exams. The process is so hard that I had a idea of giving up. At about 14, I ever told my family that maybe I won’t be a dancer in the future. I realized myself may can be a scientist or whatever I want. They at first were sad, but finally be happy for me.

討論：首先是時態不一致，When I was in junior, I have... I have to go, the process is so hard, 這一大段，除了第一句是評論，可用現在式，其餘全是回憶作者在初中時的情形，所以需從頭到尾過去式。在字彙方面，the lives in dancing, 沒有道理用複數，full of exhausting, 不懂其意，也許是指充滿挫折感, full of frustrations. junior，如指初中，就要說清楚junior high。另外，下面這句話因果關係不清楚，When I was in junior, I have less time in studying, sometimes I even have to go contesting during final exams. 在美國，期末考說final即可，不需加exams.

修改後：The life in dancing, however, is full of frustrations. when I was in junior high, I had to reduce my study time because sometimes, I had to go contest during finals. It was so hard that I thought of giving up. At about age 14, I told my family that I wouldn't be a dancer in the future. I realized then that science or any other profession was more likely for me. When they heard it for the first time, they were sad,but as time went by, they accepted it and were happy for me.

The Amazement of Dancing (1)

這是一篇台大學生的作文，找我修改，這裡先拿出前兩段，大家討論之：

題目：The amazement of dancing (忘了第一個字母大寫)

I am from an art family. I really don’t know how deeply effect me until entering NTU.
⋯⋯ 討論： 第二句話是三個子句形成的，I really don't know / how deeply effect me/ until entering NTU，每個子句都需有主詞及一個動詞，以此來看，就知問題在哪裡了, 而且effect這個字用錯了，應是affect，第二子句的主詞是什麼，作者要好好想一想，可以寫成my family, 或upbringing (養育、教養)。
I know I have so much expression, I have aesthetic aspects, I will pay a lot passion in activities, and I won’t have stage fright at all. A lot of characteristics make me outstanding in class. Now I could say it surely depends on 18 years training in dancing.
以上這一大段文法沒什麼錯，只是用法不太對，I have so much expression, 其實意思是，我有很多表情，應不是作者本意。I have aesthetic aspects，這是中文「審美觀」的直譯，也不對。I will pay a lot passion in activities, 這也是中文思考的直譯，而且activities這個字太籠統，要說得細一點。A lot of characteristics沒有直接和前面講到的特質連在一起，不如說These characteristics, outstanding變成動詞stand out更好。最後一句口氣有些過於輕便。
修改後：
The Amazement of Dancing

I am from an art family. I really don't know how deeply my upbringing affects me until I entered NTU.　(最好把名稱寫全，很多人不知道NTU是什麼）
I am very expressive (擅於表達), my aesthetic taste is high and I have passion for　？ (這一句由作者自己決定), and what's more, I don't have stage fright at all. These characteristics make me stand out among my peers. How do I become what I am now? It is all due to my 18 years of dance training.

compare apples to oranges風馬牛不相及

在伊甸園裡，花香草美，一棵蘋果樹結實累累，樹下一男一女，下半身隱藏在半人高的草叢後，不消說，這是講亞當和夏娃在伊甸園裡吃禁果的聖經故事。
夏娃對亞當說，why don't you try one before you start comparing them to oranges?
這是紐約客週刊內的一則漫畫，若不知compare apples to oranges這句常用俗語，就無法了解此漫畫的趣味。
Compare apples to oranges, 換成中文，就是「風馬牛不相及」，蘋果是蘋果，橘子是橘子，外觀不同，性質不同，不能相提並論。
若問，Lady Gaga和鄧麗君誰唱得好，你就說，you can't compare apples to oranges.
若問，周美青和Ms. Obama誰的服裝品味好，你也說you can't compare apples to oranges, you have to compare apples to apples, and oranges to oranges.
雖然沒有人指出倒底是蘋果好一點還是橘子好一點，但從世俗觀點來看，蘋果比橘子高級一些。
我敢打包票，世界上沒有一家電子公司敢把電子產品命名為「橘子」。

how to comment on the presidential debate

台灣總統辯論剛過，如何評論各候選人的表現呢？這種英文，應是老中學英文的最高級，雖然用的機會不多，熟悉一下這類詞彙也不錯。
demeanor: 這是指辯論人的態度舉止，是個比較正式的字眼，類似字眼如style, attitude, 甚至manner都不及demeanor包涵廣泛。
整體來說，三人的舉止都很誠懇穩健：Overall, the demeanor of the three candidates is sincere and composed.
若再細分，我的感覺是這樣的：
The demeanor of Ma is confident but without emphatic gaze. (自信但缺乏堅定眼神)
The demeanor of Tsai is polite but remote. (有禮但疏遠)
The demeanor of Sung is natural and warm. (泰然自若而溫暖人心)
雖然老宋領導中華民國的機會是零，不過純以公共演說來講，馬英九雖然帥，可是不知為什麼，老是顯得很累，說話聲音嫌乾。蔡英文說話也沒力氣，髮式呆板又千年不變，打扮乏善可陳，其實辜負了她蠻清秀的臉龐，演講中規中矩，然缺乏魅力，要四整年聽這兩人中的任何一人在電視上講話，電視觀眾還是要有點耐心。在這方面，老宋仍略勝一籌。

About eggs

現在留美學生都不需打工了，以前打工是留學生的必備人生經驗，曾有這樣的中式英文：
腦子裡想：「你想吃什麼蛋？」就脫口而出：What kind of egg do you like?
殊不知這在native speakers耳中聽來是很奇怪的，他們會想，當然是雞蛋，難道還是鴨蛋、鵝蛋, 鳥蛋嗎？
Native speakers的思考是這樣的，該問，你喜歡吃如何處理的蛋? How would you like your egg? 你可回答：sunny side up (荷包蛋), 或scrambled eggs(炒蛋)。
美國人做蛋的創意遠不如老中，奉勸大家不要把深色的蛋來請老美，茶葉蛋, 滷蛋不可，皮蛋更是大忌，看到這些變色蛋，老美的臉也會頓時變色。
thousand year egg
Easter egg

walk on an egg shell?

negative campaign

到了選舉年，各媒體充滿選舉語言，可惜，多數不是好字眼。選舉操作，抺黑技倆、口水戰，這些英文要怎麼講呢？
一言以畢之，這些都是負面選舉 negative campaign. 若再細分：
抺黑技倆：smudging campaign一山smudge這個字就是抹黑、弄髒，用在這兒這好。
散佈謠言：whispering campaign
口水戰：bickering，這個字有為「小事」爭吵的含意，若用arguing(有時是堂而皇之的爭論)就沒「口水戰」的味道了。The constant bickering between the two parties is such a drag. (兩黨的口水戰鬧來鬧去，實在惹人煩)

選舉操作election tactics

人的身形

骨瘦如柴bony/skinny
修長slender
健美fit
嬌小 delicate (女)
曲線玲瓏 hourglass The famous country singer Dolly Parton has an hourglass figure.
如柳條般 willowy
天使面孔，魔鬼身材 An angelic face and a lavishly-endowed body
運動型athletic
壯碩 heavily-built
虎背熊腰 heavy and broad-shouldered
巨無霸big as a bull
啤酒肚 beer-bellied
下寬型 pear-shaped

五個好用成語

中文成語必然四個字，所以好記好用，英文成語可不必然四個字，所以不好記，我記成語只挑那種中英說法一致的，因為這才記得住，其他的就先不管了。
下面五個值得記住：
1. Add fuel to the fire, 中文是什麼，當然就是火上加油了，真是一字不差，妙吧！
Scott was upset, and your distrust toward him just added fuel to the fire.
2. Move heaven and earth，信不信，這就是中文的「上天下地，竭盡所能
I would move heaven and earth to promote my English course萬能三句型
3. Go with the flow見機行事，見風轉舵 (意思可好可壞)
This politician has no principles. He just goes with the flow.
4. In wine, there is truth, 酒後吐真言
5. All hell breaks loose天下大亂
後兩句都屬感嘆語，或可直接引用的話

假設法表遺憾

用假設法表遺憾是老中很弱的地方，因為無法用中文把它翻譯出來，必須靠體會。這種用法牽涉時態，而且非得照規矩用不可，沒有其他方法可以替代。
一個朋友向另一人抱怨，，你怎麼早不把資料送來，害我白寫了。他這樣寫：
You should really send this information to me early. I spent time on my version, and all is in vain.
這是中式寫法，尤其第一句，後面兩句倒還好。
這樣寫更好：
You should have sent this information to me earlier. I have spent a lot of time on my version, but now all is in vain.
凡表示遺憾，如早應該，早知道...都要用should, would, could +現在完成式，死規矩，一定要記得
I should have told you.
I wouldn't have helped you.
Who would have known that the market had crashed in such a short time?

surprise為中性

不知為什麼，總習慣把surprise想成驚喜，大約和surprise party有關。surprise party都是讓人開心的，所以surprise是個好字。
其實不然，字典裡這麼說：the feeling caused by an unexpected event.並沒有說它是讓人高興的意外，還是讓人不高興的意外。
所以若要精確表達，你那討厭的朋友忽然上門，你不妨想：What an unpleasant surprise! 反之，可人兒忽然出現，就要說What a pleasant surprise!
另外，你的孩子、朋友，屬下有了出人意表的表現，別說I am surprised，言下之意，你對他們原本並不看好，該說I am impressed.才是真正的讚美

the gleaners or gleaners

去年春天，世界名畫「拾穗」在台北展出，盛況空前，我也在歷史博物館前排了兩小時的隊，才得以進去參觀。

原畫本身不大，而且因館內燈光關係，色彩較暗，以感官來說，並不特別愉悅，當然名畫的價值，並不在於「好不好看」，而在於畫家如何在大千世界中，以特定的構圖，筆觸和色彩，表達對人和社會的關懷。

在名畫旁邊，另有一塊板子，密密麻麻寫著一些字，沒有人會注意這塊牌子，除了我這個英文老師。板子上寫的是，the gleaner or gleaner? 敍及當時社會為這幅畫的名稱，還掀起一場讑戰。什麼？就為了多一個或少一個the？

原來，這幅畫表達的是當時法國農村貧苦的生活，至於這些可憐的女人是法國普遍現象還是畫家個人所見，關鍵就在於定冠詞the. 沒有the，表示沒有界定，法國有很多這樣的農村景象，女人以拾穂為生，政治當權著當然不願意「家醜外揚」，有the，表示這個拾穂景象有特定性，大約是畫家個人所見，也許是他在路上看到的，或是在家鄉看到的，總之，範圍大大縮小，這樣，當權者就比較安心了。

名詞前面加the，就把這個名詞限定在一定範圍內，你寫一本書，書名People Are Nice，這是說「大家都是好人」，書名The People Are Nice，涵意是有一群特定的人是好人，至於是哪一群特定的人，那麼就是這本書的賣點了。我敢打賭，沒有一家出版社會出版書名為「People Are Nice」的書。

難纏的the

以前寫英文，最難纏的就是冠詞，小小一個字，就是容易用錯。
現在慢慢思考，終於有了頭緒，下面是一個例子。
Don't Miss an Evening of Laughter and Reflection with Carol Burnett
A Conversation with Carol Where the Audience Asks the Questions

Carol Buenett是美國六、七十年代著名女諧星，我看過她很多電視表演，表演天份真是沒話說，不過她年紀大了，我並沒有興趣去看她， 這則廣告吸引我的，其實是最後兩個字the questions. 為何不用questions 而用the questions?
questions就是指任何的，一般的問題，言下之意，就是可在這個場合問她問題。
the questions，則是指大家關心，注意的那些問題，由於Carol年高德韶，是美國娛樂界的偶像，她的人生必然有許多值得借鏡之處，也必然有許多民眾感興趣的問題，所以用the questions來把它界定一下，同時也增加這場名人演講的重要性及吸引力。
事實上，有一幅法國名畫也因冠詞的使用而一度爭鬧不休。明天再談